I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
