at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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