The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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