i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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