We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
