Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
