I wanna passion pit in your ass
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
