it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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