mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I look better un-naked...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
