yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize