do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
