Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
