I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
