Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
