i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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