Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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