My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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