what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
