My nipple is on Facebook.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I deserve this hangover.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
