just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
