Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
