In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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