Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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