please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
