Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
