we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
