with your own penis?
Four minutes until I can fart!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize