This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I enjoy the company of your penis
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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