cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
