Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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