That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
