You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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