I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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