This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize