So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
