do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
