Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
please come you make the beer taste better
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
