I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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