I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
