No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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