Got a toothbrush?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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