I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
