in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
