we have pet lesbian snakes
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
