Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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