Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
