Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
