Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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