More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
