do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
