There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Do vagina's smell?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Two words: blizzard sex
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize