We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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