I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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