yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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