I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
