like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
