Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
