i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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